The Curious Incident of Russia in the "Springtime"

The only place with internet of decent speed in Vladimir is in a bar.  I come here maybe three times a week.  However, as of today they're insisting that everyone with a computer order at least 150 rubles worth of food.  Usually I just get a 30 ruble tea, or nothing.  No more of that.  Therefore, I probably will only use the internet once a week.  I am not made of rubles.  Plus, I'm not hungry or interested in getting shwasted at three in the afternoon.  Как сказать "LAME" по русский?

In other news, Laurie is no longer in Russia.  She is in America.  Also lame.  I finally learn how to make a friend, and she runs away from me :(  Actually, she had to go home for a familial reason, but I still think being in Russia just isn't going to be the same without her.  Wait, not think, KNOW.

I have decided that they should invent a militianera Barbie.  I saw a girl with flowing blonde hair, stiletto heels, and perfectly applied makeup on the bus the other day who would make a fabulous model for the Barbie.  She just looked so adorable in the militia hat.  I think the theme should be that she fights crime with her shoes.  Yes, yes.  

Friday night, I was in a hookah bar with Laurie and Chelsea.  Chelsea had brought chocolate for Laurie because she was going to be leaving for the states soon.  The chocolate was just sitting on the table, not harming anyone, when suddenly the waitress swooped in and theifed the chocolate, without explanation.  WTF? I say.  When we were leaving, the other (somewhat kinder) waitress explained that you can't bring your own chocolate (or food in general) with you because they sell chocolate (and food?), and gave us back our chocolate.  Fun times.

In the same bar, there was a group of young men sitting close to us.  They were incredibly rude.  They stared at us, laughed at us, talked about us in Russian as if we couldn't understand them, and then spurted out random nonsensical English phrases.  I seriously considered telling them off, but I figured, it wasn't worth the effort or the loss of my peace of mind, so I ignored them.

Also on Friday, I found some people locked in a cage, and managed to get the building guard to come unlock them.  Interesting.  Perhaps I should explain, it wasn't exactly a cage, it was a gate that closed off a hallway.  I don't know how they got in there, but they asked me if I spoke Russian, and when I said yes they asked me to get someone to unlock the gate.  So, I did.  The end.

Even earlier on Friday, Laurie spilled red wine all over me and my purse.  What a mean friend! Haha.  It's all good.  It was just another lesson in riding myself of materialism.  I'm getting quite good at it.  Stuff, is just stuff.  Plus, I dried off eventually.  It was only temporarily uncomfortable.

I don't understand the weather here.  And by don't understand, I clearly mean that I am fed up with it.  Supposedly it is Spring.  What exactly that means I don't know.  I believe the word Spring implies that the thick layers of ice coating the ground will melt into slush and puddles every other day and then freeze back into thinner, slicker layers of ice.  I never know how to dress.  Should I wear boots?  Do I need my winter coat or my "spring" coat.  How in the world is it that a Spring coat is made of wool?  It was 71 degrees in Vegas yesterday.  But in Vladimir it was -8 degrees (celsius which is maybe about 16 or 17 degrees fahrenheit).  What?

I would like to leave you all (assuming more than one person reads this) with a brief exchange I had with Laurie on Saturday.

L: "Russians must think we're weird"

M: "Why?"

L: "Americans do things in public that Russians would never do - like sit on the ground... and have fun."