Uneventful events...

25.March

T: “Мужчины как глупые пингвины/Men are like stupid penguins.”

M: “Как пингвины/Like penguins?”

T: “Как глупые пингвины/Like stupid penguins.”

My хозяйка and I talked about men for about an hour this evening, and by talked about them, I mean bashed them.  She started it.  Go figure.   For a brief moment, I even attempted to defend men.  I insisted that not all men are terrible.  Of course, her opinion is clearly already fully formed and she wouldn’t concede.  She just said that her dad and my dad are the only good men.

This morning, like every morning, Faye and I were standing outside of the institute where we study, avoiding going inside the building where speaking English is forbidden.  However, unlike most of our mornings, Chelsea arrived, then Kyle, Chris, and Kimberly.  It was snowing.  Chelsea told me an anecdote about how she made a snow angel while they were in Pushkin без шапки, and the teacher with them almost had a heart attack over it.  I hadn’t even once thought about snow angels while I’ve been in Russia, despite the presence of so much snow.  Thus I made the following suggestion:

Let’s get naked and make snow angels! Someone make sure Larisa Viktorovna is looking out the window, so that she can reprimand us for not wearing шапки. 

After which, Kimberly decided to take a picture of us (unfortunately, we were all still clothed and not making snow angels), but, while she was taking the picture, I said “Come on Kimberly, we can act like we like each other for this long,” and that is the reason everyone is smiling in the picture, because they were laughing at how difficult it is for us to pretend to like one another J

Aside: Yes Luke, I am always in the corner at Whiskey bar because I can’t stop looking at porn.  That’s precisely the reason.

Lilit, my super cool Armenian (not Russian!) friend and I were reading about Obama.  Then she started humming the national anthem of the U.S.  at which point I realized, I do not know the words.  Proof that I’m such a great American.  We also decided that, clearly, she is actually an American girl, and I am actually a Russian girl.  We were just born in the wrong places.  Right?

26.March

Snow again today.  I really don’t mind the eternal winter, but other people in the group are starting to complain.  They insist that the fact that it is almost April should have some bearing on the weather.  Frankly, I haven’t really thought about the weather that much.  Who’s to say what the weather should or should not be like at a certain time of year?  However, I was at Megan’s today, and she showed me some pictures of a trip she took to Mexico.  The crystal blue water and green trees did tug on my heart.  It looked so pleasant.  Even romantic.  Does romance only occur in warm climates?

Dinner tonight: A plate of shredded carrots and a bowl of soup.  Smallest meal I’ve had yet.  Congratulations Tatiana, you are finally getting the message - I don’t eat.  Go you!  However, I was a little nervous when I first looked at the carrots.  I thought, “Oh no, not the white death!”  Luckily, it was sugar and not salt.  There is no way I could have eaten that much salt, but the sugar mixed into the carrots pretty well. 

Remember when Sarah pulled out a GIANT thong, and I mean GIANT, in class today and Larisa Viktorovna said it would fit Sarah someday when she got really fat.  Or that perhaps it would fit a particular woman that works in the office.  She really has no boundaries.  Apparently, Sarah’s mom sends her the giant thong they found and purchased as a joke every year on her birthday. 

Let’s see, did I learn anything today?  Ah yes, every other leader in Russian history has been bald (starting with Lenin). 

Tatiana has decided that I am lonely because Laurie left.  She insists I don’t have any friends now.  She tried to think of some young Russians I could befriend.  It went like this:

“Tatiana’s son (not my host mother, but her friend also named Tatiana)?  No, he’s a drunk… How about Natasha?  No, she’s studying at that institute.  There’s no one.”

How predictable. 

27.March

Did you know that the toilet at Whiskey Bar came with a five-year guarantee?  I bet you didn’t.