Thursday, April 9, 2009

Wednesday

8.April

This morning, over breakfast (which had been prepared an hour early so that I could go in early to make up an exam), my host mom told me that I looked pretty and serious.  I thought, good, that’s exactly what I was going for, pretty, but serious….

About an hour later, I was sitting on the bus, listening to some jams, and I looked up and out the window and standing right there was Tatiana Mihkailovna.  She smiled and waved.  It was kind of startling, but nice.  When we got off the bus we walked to the institute together, and had a nice little chat along the way.  Then she gave me a grammar test, which I successfully bombed. 

Random note about Tatiana Mihkalovna, the other day in class, she said, “Ciao, bambino!”  I laughed for a good five minutes.

In other news, WWII history is somehow significantly sadder in Russian. 

I was in Coffee Bean with Lilit this afternoon, when a Russian man approached us, and proceeded to ask me to give him English lessons.  He said he'd paid me.  Lilit gave him my phone number, and then told me not to go over to his apartment (I'm not that stupid, do I look like I'm interested in being human trafficked?).  Then two of his friends came over and wanted me to teach them English too... I think I'm becoming a language whore...

Hey, remember that time, I went to meet with some Russians at the American House, and they asked me why I studied Russian, and I said, "because I love the literature."  Then they asked what time period.  I responded, “Soviet era.”  One of them looked at me quite strangely and said, “There wasn’t any Soviet literature.”  Touché. 

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

April is not Spring, just a monkey in a zebra outfit!

3.April

I love Friday mornings!  I can wander and dance around the apartment barefoot, and only eat if I want to.  It’s been lovely not having class on Fridays. 

What we do have on Fridays are excursions.  However, congratulations to me, I was the first to finish all eight excursion essays, and now I am free to enjoy the excursions without feeling the impulse to take notes. Ура!

So a little bit about the weather…

This morning the sun was shinning, the weather was warm - it was lovely.  I took my shoe to get repaired, and on the walk back I was actually sweating, and I was only wearing a lightweight coat.  Get this – I even saw a man beating a rug clean outside while wearing – shorts!  Then I noticed a couple preteen boys chasing one another and only wearing t-shirts.  It must be spring!



Several hours later…

I’m shivering uncontrollably outside Успенский Собор while we wait for our tour guide, who is 45 minutes late.  Even inside the cathedral, which is incredibly beautiful by the way (there is a wood carving of God holding the world in his hands, that I thought looked peculiarly like Zeus, at the top level of the cathedral, which I found particularly impressive), I couldn’t get warm. On the walk between Успенский & Дмитриевский собор the wind was vicious.  I thought my fingers might fall off. 


Just a couple hours later…

It began to snow.  Lots of snow.  Very cold, windy, and snowing.  I thought it was spring!

Luckily, Kimberly, Faye, and I were able to seek refuge in a restaurant named after Elvis.  It just opened yesterday (which at the time we didn’t know, because things come and go so quickly and quietly in Russia that we barely even notice).  When we walked in, there was no one there.  We wandered around thinking, “perhaps it isn’t open.”  Ultimately, right before we were about to leave, a girl showed up and took our coats.  We sat in a very comfy booth and had a lovely (and relatively warm) time. 

Somehow funny at the time, but perhaps not now, Faye said, “I like the word кальян better than hookah.  Hookah sounds silly – like foosball!”

Miracle? Or just an unexpected cultural rarity? On the way home to Доброе on the bus, a man stood up and told me to sit down in the seat he had been sitting in.  He proceeded to stand, beer in hand, for several stops (the bus was crowded as usual).  When a woman stood up and exited the bus, he tapped a girl on the shoulder and asked her if she wanted to sit, and didn’t sit down himself until she had said she didn’t want the seat.  Toto, I don’t think we’re in Russia anymore!

04.April

On my way into the center today on the bus, the man sitting next to me said, “Excuse me,” as he stood up to get passed me and exit the bus.  Was that English?  Did that just happen?

On my way home from the center, I noticed that Успенский was looking extra lovely due to the sunset.  I took a detour to take some pictures.  Vladimir can be so beautiful. 

Then I waited thirty plus minutes for a bus to come.  It was cold.

05.April

Sometimes Tatiana serves me a plate of beets.  I think beets taste like dirt, but not in a bad way.  Actually, in the best possible way.  And they do have a lovely color. 

Moscow…

Perhaps my last time there this semester, unless I decide to go for Victory Day, which would be a bit insane, but possibly worth it.

Chelsea, Kyle and I went to the market in order to shower our loved ones back home with gifts upon our arrival.  Having already been to Russia and done the bringing back souvenirs thing, I wasn’t entirely sure what to get (or whether to get anything). However, I do get quite the thrill from haggling.  I’ve gotten quite good at it.  What I’ve learned:

 

1.     Start to wander away to another booth selling the same product.

2.     Act as if you don’t even want what they’re trying to sell you.

3.     Be a pretty girl.

I also really enjoy conversing with the sales people.  They’re a barrel of fun.  Today, one guy wouldn’t stop talking to me.  Kept asking me about where I was from, asking if it was difficult to learn Russian – the usual.  He complimented my Russian, but said it wasn’t as good as his, which I found hilarious and said, “of course it isn’t, I’m not Russian!”  When I started to wander away to look for Chelsea, he asked me where I was going.  He wasn’t even trying to sell me anything at this point, just for some reason, didn’t want me to leave.

My favorite encounter of the day…

I approached a booth where a man said something to me in what must have been really terrible English (because I didn’t understand it, which also may have been because I was in “Russian mode” and I have quite a hard time switching back and forth).  Then he asked if I spoke Russian and I said yes, and he said good and we proceeded to converse in Russian.  However, at one point, he tried to get Chelsea to come over to by calling her “Senorita,” because he knew she was with me, and assumed that because I didn’t understand his English that we must be Spanish.  We laughed and I told him we weren’t from Spain.  He asked where we were from.  I said, “America.”  He said, “You’re Canadian.”  I said, “Yes.”  Then he told me a lot of people in Canada speak Russian.  I said, “not in my part of Canada.”  He asked me what the weather was like in Canada right now, and I said I didn’t know because I’d been living in Vladimir, but that presumably, it was cold.  In response to my comment that I was living in Vladimir, he said, “but you have an accent.”  I said, “of course I do, I’m Canadian!”  Then he asked me why I don’t speak English.  I said, “because I’m in Russia, not Canada.”  In retrospect, I should have said I didn’t speak English because I am a French Canadian.  Perhaps that would also explain why so many people in Vladimir are always insisting that I look French (it could also be the haircut and the beret).  This was an incredibly amusing experience.  Maybe you had to be there.

Thus far, I have been mistaken for French, German and Canadian.  Actually, today, one of the sales women Kyle bought something from said to him, “Oh you’re with a Russian girl (in reference to me).”  She must not have heard me say much.  Do I really look that un-American? Which, frankly, isn’t the right term, because as I realized today, Canadians are also American and so are Mexicans for that matter.  Do I really look that un-United States Citizen?  Better?

In other news…

“You know, Russia is known for its peace loving abilities…” – Chelsea (Context: conversation about the meaning of the word Владимир/Vladimir, which comes from власть (power) and мир (world) – which also means peace)

Ruslan showed us a picture of him in uniform with a gun. 

I asked: What do you shoot with this gun? Pigeons?

He said: Of course not, Japanese people & Chinese.

This is somehow more humurous because he is studying Chinese at the military academy, and because earlier in the day Chelsea, Kyle and I had been talking about how irritating pigeons were, and I had said I was going to go pigeon hunting with my foot (but clearly, Ruslan's gun would be a more effective, but possibly less entertaining weapon than my foot).

 


Wednesday, April 1, 2009

April is Spring, right?

It seems especially dark in here today.  When I get back to the states, in order to use the internet, I'm going to have to turn off all the lights, and play the soundtrack that is always playing here, or it won't feel right.

Today, we had visitors from Westpoint in our history class.  They're here to do an inspection of some sort because two of the guys on the program are from Westpoint.  They didn't say much, but how much is there to say about Stalin?  He had a very nice mustache?  ;)

30.March

Tatiana pulled out a stone and started cracking nuts open with it.  I suppose the nutcracker is one of the few luxuries yet to be invented in Russia.  Let’s add it to the list with the Ziploc bag, and the street drainage system.  I'm still unsure what kind of nut a фундук is in English.  Thus, we started to discuss them.

M: What kind of tree do фундуки grow on?

Т: A nut tree.

М: HAHAHA.  Of course they do…

Next, Tatiana dragged a bag of stones in from the balcony, that she apparently brought home from the sea.  She proceded to stand on them and look up at the light as if it were the sun.  I joined in by making sea noises.  It was very peaceful.  For just a moment, she was transported back to Sochi. 

We laid on the floor in the main room with all of the stones sprawled out before us for almost an hour.  It’s incredible how much each stone differs.  Some are smooth, or rough, or green, or black.  Some have stripes.  Some are round.  Each is an individual.  A beautiful individual whose appearance makes sense.  I rolled some of the stones around in my palms.  So calming.  So beautiful. 

Tatiana asked me if I’d ever seen a shark.  I told her I grew up in Delaware and that it’s a coastal state, so I went to the beach every summer.  She was jealous.  She told me to tell the next shark I saw that she said hi.  Now I miss the beach L

Saturday was quite the day.  The morning started off with a lovely all girls excursion to the banya.  We rented out our own room, ate food, sweated, beat one another with branches, and relaxed in the little pool.  Yay for naked girl bonding time!  I’m sure we’ll be back soon!  After banya, I went home to Tatiana’s birthday party.  It’s crazy how much they can drink.  After every toast (there were eight, one of which I proposed of course), Tatiana took a shot of vodka. She certainly can hold her liquor, which actually surprised me, because she never drinks when it’s not a holiday.  I’d never been to a Russian birthday before, and I’m glad I can say that I have now.  It was interesting talking to her Dad and her brother-in-law.  I don’t have much exposure to the older generations of Russian men.  Sergei, the brother-in-law, was hilarious.  He sang happy birthday in English, and told me that if I don’t start eating mayonnaise, then I can’t stay in Russia because Russian girls eat mayo.  I insisted I didn’t need to because I’m an American girl, but he refused to conceded, telling me that if I stay here much longer I will be a Russian girl, and Russian girls eat mayo. Below is a pic of (almost) everyone sitting around the table during the party.  There was so much food!





Friday, March 27, 2009

Uneventful events...

25.March

T: “Мужчины как глупые пингвины/Men are like stupid penguins.”

M: “Как пингвины/Like penguins?”

T: “Как глупые пингвины/Like stupid penguins.”

My хозяйка and I talked about men for about an hour this evening, and by talked about them, I mean bashed them.  She started it.  Go figure.   For a brief moment, I even attempted to defend men.  I insisted that not all men are terrible.  Of course, her opinion is clearly already fully formed and she wouldn’t concede.  She just said that her dad and my dad are the only good men.

This morning, like every morning, Faye and I were standing outside of the institute where we study, avoiding going inside the building where speaking English is forbidden.  However, unlike most of our mornings, Chelsea arrived, then Kyle, Chris, and Kimberly.  It was snowing.  Chelsea told me an anecdote about how she made a snow angel while they were in Pushkin без шапки, and the teacher with them almost had a heart attack over it.  I hadn’t even once thought about snow angels while I’ve been in Russia, despite the presence of so much snow.  Thus I made the following suggestion:

Let’s get naked and make snow angels! Someone make sure Larisa Viktorovna is looking out the window, so that she can reprimand us for not wearing шапки. 

After which, Kimberly decided to take a picture of us (unfortunately, we were all still clothed and not making snow angels), but, while she was taking the picture, I said “Come on Kimberly, we can act like we like each other for this long,” and that is the reason everyone is smiling in the picture, because they were laughing at how difficult it is for us to pretend to like one another J


Aside: Yes Luke, I am always in the corner at Whiskey bar because I can’t stop looking at porn.  That’s precisely the reason.

Lilit, my super cool Armenian (not Russian!) friend and I were reading about Obama.  Then she started humming the national anthem of the U.S.  at which point I realized, I do not know the words.  Proof that I’m such a great American.  We also decided that, clearly, she is actually an American girl, and I am actually a Russian girl.  We were just born in the wrong places.  Right?

26.March

Snow again today.  I really don’t mind the eternal winter, but other people in the group are starting to complain.  They insist that the fact that it is almost April should have some bearing on the weather.  Frankly, I haven’t really thought about the weather that much.  Who’s to say what the weather should or should not be like at a certain time of year?  However, I was at Megan’s today, and she showed me some pictures of a trip she took to Mexico.  The crystal blue water and green trees did tug on my heart.  It looked so pleasant.  Even romantic.  Does romance only occur in warm climates?

Dinner tonight: A plate of shredded carrots and a bowl of soup.  Smallest meal I’ve had yet.  Congratulations Tatiana, you are finally getting the message - I don’t eat.  Go you!  However, I was a little nervous when I first looked at the carrots.  I thought, “Oh no, not the white death!”  Luckily, it was sugar and not salt.  There is no way I could have eaten that much salt, but the sugar mixed into the carrots pretty well. 

Remember when Sarah pulled out a GIANT thong, and I mean GIANT, in class today and Larisa Viktorovna said it would fit Sarah someday when she got really fat.  Or that perhaps it would fit a particular woman that works in the office.  She really has no boundaries.  Apparently, Sarah’s mom sends her the giant thong they found and purchased as a joke every year on her birthday. 

Let’s see, did I learn anything today?  Ah yes, every other leader in Russian history has been bald (starting with Lenin). 

Tatiana has decided that I am lonely because Laurie left.  She insists I don’t have any friends now.  She tried to think of some young Russians I could befriend.  It went like this:

“Tatiana’s son (not my host mother, but her friend also named Tatiana)?  No, he’s a drunk… How about Natasha?  No, she’s studying at that institute.  There’s no one.”

How predictable. 

27.March

Did you know that the toilet at Whiskey Bar came with a five-year guarantee?  I bet you didn’t.  

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Peter

This past weekend the group of us went to St. Petersburg.  I got there and the song, “Memories” from Cats started playing in my head, right?  I don’t like that musical, but man was it weird being in Peter.  I still have a pretty decent sense of where things are located, which was nice. 

Break: My host mom just brought me an apple.  Love her. 

As I was saying, I was already familiar with Petersburg, having briefly lived there a couple summers ago.  Most of the group had never been, and wanted to do and see the normal things (i.e. Hermitage, Peter and Paul Fortress, Church on Spilt Blood, Russian Museum, apartments of posthumous literary figures, etc.).  I wasn’t so interested in doing anything.  I just wanted to be in Peter – simple request since we were already there. 

On Friday, I walked through Victory Park (oh my gosh I hate writing names of Russian places and people in English, they sound ridiculous; I hope you know I do it just for you Cassandra, because otherwise you wouldn’t understand and you are the one who asked me to blog in the first place) with Chelsea and we tried to figure out how exactly one became a Soviet hero, as busts of Soviet heroes are pretty much the only thing in that park.  While wandering around the area near our hotel, we found the State University of Firefighting.  Elena Vladimirovna wasn’t lying; they really do have a university for everything in Petersburg.  After lunch, which Chelsea and I couldn’t seem to locate in the hotel (it even got to the point that Tom called to ask if I was coming because Reese wanted to eat my food, he loves that I don’t eat much, because he always gets to eat it), Chelsea, Luke and I took the metro to the center of town. 

Break: By the way, I am loving the obscene amount of parentheses I’m utilizing, as well as the quantity of run on senses. 

We walked the majority of Nevsky (the main street in Peter).  Chelsea and I bought some overpriced shampoo in Lush because we don’t have such luxuries in Vlad.  We went into a few bookstores, in one of which Luke finally found some kind of book he was looking for, at least I think he did.  My memory is basically nonexistent.  I have to write down everything I do down in a little moleskin notebook so that I can even write this blog.  Speaking of which, I wrote down that we found a double headed corn shaped dildo in a sex shop that I had to strongly resist buying for Chelsea because she is from Iowa and I always bust on her for it, we saw a homeless lady getting her groove on on a street corner, and ate at Carl’s Jr, where, get this, they have free refills and free ketchup, which is always what I say I miss when someone asks me what I miss most about America.  Then the snow-rain started to fall.  It didn’t stop us.  We walked to the winter palace, and then “ice-skated,” as the park was covered in wet, slick ice, through the park to the Peter the Great statue.  I have a video of Chelsea and Luke skating, which is how I remember that it happened.  I looked up the street at the building my apartment was in last time I was in Peter, which made that stupid song play in my head again.  It also made me think of how much I’ve changed since then, and how much I loved living with Amanda, Kristina, and Aynsley.  By the end of the evening I was soaking wet from the snow-rain, and my eye makeup was all over my face.  Fun times.

I did manage to do a few things I’ve never done before in Peter.  After a long search, I found Akhmatova’s (is that really how it’s spelled in the Roman alphabet? I don’t actually know, I’ve only read her poems in Russian) apartment, thanks to a map that I told me “you am here.”  I went to the Aleksandrovsky Theater, in which I had never seen a performance.  We saw the Nutcracker.  It was pretty incredible.  They actually perform the original story in Russia (go figure), which is, in my opinion, less interesting than the American, more Christmasy version.  However, the technique of the dancers was so fabulous, that I didn’t care what ballet it was, I just enjoyed that I was there watching it.  After the ballet, most of us went out for Alec’s twenty-first.  Most of our group is turning or has turned twenty-one in Russia, where, you know, it doesn’t really matter.  It was a blast being out with everyone.  We have a great group of people in Vladimir (not quite as great without Laurie).  We’re awesome.  Be jealous.

Random thought - Karen or Jess or Raven (if you read this), remember that time when we didn’t want to do something so we always said, “oh really, I’m sorry, but I can’t, I’m giving birth that day,” or just simply, “I’ve got to go give birth.” Ridic. 

One of my favorite parts of this trip to Peter, was being in a cathedral while a service (Eastern Orthodox of course) was taking place.  I couldn’t really see, but the sound was so beautiful.  I even lit a candle beneath an icon.  I can’t believe that’s something I’ve never experienced before.  I’ll have to check out the cathedrals in Vladimir.  We don’t have much here, but we certainly don’t have a shortage of cathedrals.  The weather on Sunday was beautiful.  I walked along the Neva, which was especially lovely due to the sunshine, shadows, and partly ice, partly water composition of the river.  Ultimately, I ended up at Smolny institute and cathedral.  And of course, the song “Memories,” started to play again since that is where I studied last time I was in Russia.  This time I swear it was aloud.  I also discovered that Smolny is a Catholic cathedral.  Who knew?

On the train back from Peter, I didn’t sleep much at all.  BUT, I did get my phonetics corrected by a six year old.  I asked his younger, maybe 3 year old brother his name, and the older one responded, “Камиль (Kamil)”.  When I repeated it back he shook his head and said, “Камиль (Kamil)” with an emphasis on the soft Л (L).  So then I said it with the soft Л (L) and he was like, yea that’s his name.  AHAHAHHA.  I love it when I make mistakes that I know how to not make.  Thanks for the lesson in phonetics, Kostya (I didn’t have any problems with his name). 

When we finally arrived in Vladimir on Monday at 5AM (yes we had to go to class just a few hours later), some of us ran across the train tracks to get to the exit, rather than using the bridge above the tracks because it involved walking up stairs.  A train almost hit us.  I’m pretty glad it didn’t.  It was a relatively slow moving train so it’s unlikely that it would have killed us immediately on contact and frankly, I think it would have been quite a slow and painful death.  However, being hit by a train is on my list of approved ways to die – it’s somewhere between death by icicle and being murdered by a taxi cab driver in a foreign country - it just needs to be a fast train.  As we walked out of the train station Chelsea observed, “ Oh Vladimir, it’s a balmy negative ten degrees.”  She’s always making me laugh. 

Same day, several hours later in phonetics class, I amused my teacher with the story about the six year old.  Then we read a poem about, surprise-surprise, love.  She asked Sarah whether she thought love was like smoke or like a shadow/the shade.  Then she asked Kelsey the same question.  Then she looked at me and said, “Маделина, я боюсь даже спрашивать тебя (I’m afraid to even ask you).”  She knows me too well ;)

Like cheese on butter J

Holiday of the Green Gnome

17. March

Try explaining Saint Patrick’s Day to a Russian.  They just don’t seem to get it.  It doesn’t really help that I can’t seem to remember the real reason Saint Patrick has a day.  Didn’t he save Ireland from the rats?  Or was it snakes?  Probably nothing of the sort.  Either way, they get that St. Patrick is a saint in Ireland.  What they don’t understand are leprechauns.   There isn’t even a word for leprechaun in Russian.  They use the word gnome, which in my opinion is an entirely different creature.  When my host mother asked me how the holiday is celebrated, I told her that we chase after tricky, small men with pots of gold that live at the end of rainbows, wear green, look for shamrocks (because they’re lucky of course) and drink (because its Irish of course).  Somehow all of the Russians I explained St. Patrick’s Day to decided it was the “holiday of the green gnome” or the “holiday of gnomes.”  I find this very amusing. 

To celebrate the holiday, I wore green, and made my host mother wear green.  I was surprised she even owned anything green, as they don’t wear much color here.  In the evening I threw a party to celebrate being Irish, since you know, I’m the most Irish one in our group (maybe).  As a group, I’m pretty sure we went to every single store in Vladimir searching for Guiness.  Ultimately, it was found, along with Bailey’s and fun was had.  Perhaps too much by some ;) My neighbor and host mother loved the Bailey’s.  Russian women love sweetness.  Kyle ate an entire plate of potatoes, which in a way are Irish, right?  Which makes me think, Russia and Ireland have a lot in common.  Well, maybe not a lot, but both cultures eat potatoes, drink a lot, and like football - I mean soccer (is that a word? it doesn’t look like one).  Ah, stereotyping. There were also pickles and chocolate.  Not very Irish, but very delish.  The best part - my host mom asked if the holiday of the green gnomes is always on the 17th of March, and when I said yes, she said now she’d know to celebrate it every year. 

19. March

Sales people in Russia aren’t really sales people - at least not in the American sense.  They just stand in the stores and ignore you, or stare at you and mock you.  Many stores have security people who follow you around.  That’s my favorite.  I think it should be a goal of mine to try and steal something, because it would actually be a challenge here.  Having worked in retail, I wish I’d done it here instead of America.  I wouldn’t actually have to help anyone.  At Ann Taylor, where of course, only the best sales associates work, I greeted people when they walked in, asked them if I could help them with anything, if they were looking for anything in particular, if it was a gift, if they needed me to start them a fitting room (but never called it a fitting room because that is not in the approved AT lingo – clearly, it’s a “wardrobing room”), if I could add what they were looking at or holding to the already started fitting room, checked on them in the fitting rooms, so on and so forth.  Frankly, being a sales associate was a lot like being a stalker.  In contrast, in Russia, being a sales associate is a lot like, well, doing nothing.  I think I would prefer to do nothing.  Maybe not, I liked interacting with clients as long as they weren’t too needed, or total tools.  You may be wondering, especially if you are Laurie, “what’s your point?”  My point is, a sales woman actually asked me if she could help me with anything.  I was shocked.  The end.

Anna and Liza were over again.  This time was especially entertaining.  Liza eats everything with her fingers, and when I say everything I mean EVERYTHING.  We had soup for dinner and she stuck her fingers in it and then sucked the liquid off her fingers.  I was amused.  I hope she continues to eat that way for her entire life, which she won’t, but for now, I will continue to enjoy it.  Quite quickly, Liza got bored with her food.  She started picking up pickles, taking one bite, and then chucking them at us.  One pickle went flying all the way across the kitchen.  Loved it.  After dinner, she followed me into my room (as usual, no matter how much her mom and grandma tell her its “forbidden,” which is also amusing because Russians tell their children that all the time, but never do anything to stop the kids).  First she went through all my stuff and opened anything openable.  Every once in a while she would laugh, run up to me and slam herself into me, giving me a hug.  She’s so stinking cute.  Perhaps my favorite thing she does is come up to me, grab some of my hair, and sniff it, or simply just sniff my head.  You can actually hear her smelling it.  

Monday, March 16, 2009

The Curious Incident of Russia in the "Springtime"

The only place with internet of decent speed in Vladimir is in a bar.  I come here maybe three times a week.  However, as of today they're insisting that everyone with a computer order at least 150 rubles worth of food.  Usually I just get a 30 ruble tea, or nothing.  No more of that.  Therefore, I probably will only use the internet once a week.  I am not made of rubles.  Plus, I'm not hungry or interested in getting shwasted at three in the afternoon.  Как сказать "LAME" по русский?

In other news, Laurie is no longer in Russia.  She is in America.  Also lame.  I finally learn how to make a friend, and she runs away from me :(  Actually, she had to go home for a familial reason, but I still think being in Russia just isn't going to be the same without her.  Wait, not think, KNOW.

I have decided that they should invent a militianera Barbie.  I saw a girl with flowing blonde hair, stiletto heels, and perfectly applied makeup on the bus the other day who would make a fabulous model for the Barbie.  She just looked so adorable in the militia hat.  I think the theme should be that she fights crime with her shoes.  Yes, yes.  

Friday night, I was in a hookah bar with Laurie and Chelsea.  Chelsea had brought chocolate for Laurie because she was going to be leaving for the states soon.  The chocolate was just sitting on the table, not harming anyone, when suddenly the waitress swooped in and theifed the chocolate, without explanation.  WTF? I say.  When we were leaving, the other (somewhat kinder) waitress explained that you can't bring your own chocolate (or food in general) with you because they sell chocolate (and food?), and gave us back our chocolate.  Fun times.

In the same bar, there was a group of young men sitting close to us.  They were incredibly rude.  They stared at us, laughed at us, talked about us in Russian as if we couldn't understand them, and then spurted out random nonsensical English phrases.  I seriously considered telling them off, but I figured, it wasn't worth the effort or the loss of my peace of mind, so I ignored them.

Also on Friday, I found some people locked in a cage, and managed to get the building guard to come unlock them.  Interesting.  Perhaps I should explain, it wasn't exactly a cage, it was a gate that closed off a hallway.  I don't know how they got in there, but they asked me if I spoke Russian, and when I said yes they asked me to get someone to unlock the gate.  So, I did.  The end.

Even earlier on Friday, Laurie spilled red wine all over me and my purse.  What a mean friend! Haha.  It's all good.  It was just another lesson in riding myself of materialism.  I'm getting quite good at it.  Stuff, is just stuff.  Plus, I dried off eventually.  It was only temporarily uncomfortable.

I don't understand the weather here.  And by don't understand, I clearly mean that I am fed up with it.  Supposedly it is Spring.  What exactly that means I don't know.  I believe the word Spring implies that the thick layers of ice coating the ground will melt into slush and puddles every other day and then freeze back into thinner, slicker layers of ice.  I never know how to dress.  Should I wear boots?  Do I need my winter coat or my "spring" coat.  How in the world is it that a Spring coat is made of wool?  It was 71 degrees in Vegas yesterday.  But in Vladimir it was -8 degrees (celsius which is maybe about 16 or 17 degrees fahrenheit).  What?

I would like to leave you all (assuming more than one person reads this) with a brief exchange I had with Laurie on Saturday.
L: "Russians must think we're weird"
M: "Why?"
L: "Americans do things in public that Russians would never do - like sit on the ground... and have fun."